Entitled Family Members Asked for My Wedding Ring & The Aftermath [Part 2]
A further glimpse into a village wedding & Chinese wedding tradition
Raining Red Pockets
After breakfast, we made our way with LM (my husband’s younger cousin) to the bride’s house. Upon arrival, there was a wail of firecrackers popping and open hands demanding red pockets appeared flailing under the door.
When the groom and his groomsmen arrived, the door to the courtyard was eventually opened and we all streamed inside. Then, they immediately rushed up the stairs to find the bride.
There’s a popular wedding game in China where the bridal party defends the door while the groomsmen and groom attempt to get into the room. The purpose of the game is to find the bride’s shoes, put them on her feet, and then whisk her away to the wedding venue.
Throughout the whole process, the groomsmen will do their best to bribe the bridesmaids with red pockets stuffed with several one-dollar bills in order to enter the room and to get hints about where the bride’s shoes are.
The bridesmaids often will make it difficult for the groom and his groomsmen. They will ask that the groom perform a series of tasks, solve a puzzle, play some games, or demand that he professes his undying love for the bride.
The room in which the bride was waiting for the groom and his groomsmen was tiny. It was difficult to even get a foot in the door given the number of people that were already in it. Including the bride and groom, there was a total of 10 people in there — 4 of which were the bridesmaids and 4 of which were the groomsmen.
As time passed, a strong wave of body odor and hot air emanated from the bride’s room. At one point, we got tired of standing and just stood in the adjacent room which had a pleasant gust of cool wind from an open window — a welcome respite from the heat.
After a brief shouting match between a bridesmaid and groomsman, there was an exchange of red pockets before the door was vigorously pushed open. Before we departed the groom’s home, LM had given us these tube confetti poppers. When the groomsmen burst into the room, we twisted the end of our respective tubes and showered the room with bright red heart-shaped confetti.
Time to Feast
My favorite part of the wedding was the food. Food in my husband’s hometown never disappoints. There was an abundance of dishes being layered on top of each other as more food arrived throughout the course of the lunch.
The deep-fried dough balls with the red date filling were mouth-wateringly delicious, as was the braised pork chops and noodles in sesame paste. After everyone ate, leftovers were taken away by wedding guests who wanted to enjoy the remaining food at home.
One beverage that I found to be rather interesting was the persimmon drink. For some reason, any time that the drink was opened, the opening of the can would release whisps of smoke.
The Name Swap
Prior to the wedding ceremony, your fiancée would call your mother 阿姨(auntie) and father 叔叔 (uncle). There’s a segment in the wedding where the bride and groom will call their respective in-laws for the first time by the name of ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. This is significant as it signifies the merging of two families. Parents will then give the bride and groom hefty red pockets afterwards.
A Dress for Every Occasion
Modern day brides not only wear the traditional Chinese qipao (旗袍), but they also select a white Western style wedding dress as well. In addition to these two dresses, another two dresses are worn during the wedding. The other dress is meant for going table-to-table to clink glasses with guests. The final dress is worn when sending guests off.
While the bride will have at least four outfit changes, the groom has only two. The groom will wear a traditional Chinese chángpáo (長袍) before changing into a suit.
Cut the Cheese
Chinese weddings are the epitome of cheesiness and all things that are supposed to induce tears. At this particular wedding, the MC did his utmost to share their bride and groom’s story of their initial meeting with as much feeling in his voice as possible against the backdrop of slow romantic music.
Even at the pre-wedding dinner, a video of the groom proposing and kissing his bride in the car was looped repeatedly on the large screen. During the ceremony, the groom was also asked various questions such as, “How would you describe your wife-to-be?”
What We Learned
Some key takeaway lessons gleaned from this experience:
- Arrive hours before a large event
- Take the train, not your own car to the village
- Bring a portable fan during the summers
- Don’t let our wedding MC say cheesy lines
Final Word
Had the whole ring ordeal not happened, the entire wedding experience might have been relatively enjoyable. The only highlight of this entire trip was the food and being able to ride in the back of the mini pick-up truck with my husband on the dirt path. We had first visited his mother’s relatives and they were tomato farmers.
After dinner, they took us to see their tomato greenhouse. We ventured inside for a quick tour before making our way back to their home. My husband’s cousin was driving a mini pick-up truck and my husband asked if we could ride in the back.
It was somewhat bumpy, but a new and fascinating experience. Also, at the time that we went, the temperature fluctuated between the extremes. It was either raining heavily or sweltering hot. The overall weather combined with extensive waiting, unnecessary drama, and entitled family attitude made the entire trip insufferable.
Despite it all, I don’t regret going back to the village. These kinds of experiences are educational and give me a better look into Chinese culture.
